


In Which Takahashi Misaki Has a Revelation

by jenarator (zhenarator)



Category: Junjou Romantica
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-24
Updated: 2012-08-24
Packaged: 2017-11-12 18:46:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/494465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zhenarator/pseuds/jenarator
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Misaki is unsure of many things, but perhaps he is becoming sure of at least one thing...</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Which Takahashi Misaki Has a Revelation

**Author's Note:**

> This was my first ever M/M fanfiction. This story was also my first foray into first person fanfiction writing. Written several years ago now. I'm moving it over from ff.net. Let me know what you think!

I sat on the couch, quietly dreading his return. He could be so frustrating sometimes, no, I take that back. He was frustrating all of the time. Before storming off to his office to supposedly complete a deadline, Usagi-san had forbidden me to leave the apartment.

I had argued unsuccessfully that I had promised Senpai that I would study with him today. We really did need to study. Literature is not an easy subject, especially when the professor occasionally decides to go crazy and start throwing things at students.

I growled quietly at the indignity of it all. In the end Usagi-san had actually locked the door and taken the key with him. So, unless I wanted to fly out the window and come to an abrupt, deadly stop; there was no leaving the apartment.

Before long Usagi-san came down the stairs and eyed me calmly. This guy was so irritating. He was in complete control and he knew it. Usagi-san's attitude made me so angry and yet, there was some part of me that could never really be entirely angry with him. Right then, I wanted to murder that part.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, locking me in here like that?! What is the matter with you?!"

Apparently this was the wrong question to ask him, because suddenly Usagi-san was advancing towards me from across the room. I stood up. An instinctive move. I had always been a bit short for my age, but being around Usagi-san made me feel even shorter. He was tall, broad shouldered and could be very intimidating.

"U…usagi…-san?"

I couldn't stop myself from saying his name and voicing my confusion at his behavior.

Then he was there in front of me, and somehow there was a wall behind me. I didn't remember backing up, but apparently I had because now I was sandwiched between the wall and Usagi-san's chest.

"Misaki…" Usagi-san's deep voice rumbled out of him like a low growl, and the sound waves seemed to reverberate through my chest and head, "I told you, I'm not prepared to give up any of our time together."

"But…but I…"

For some reason I couldn't formulate the words I was searching for, his proximity was distracting. I thought of what had happened the first time he had looked at me this way and chills coursed down my spine.

I blushed and closed my eyes at the memory of that evening. I had said no, pleaded with him to stop, but then Usagi-san had grabbed my hand and placed it over his heart. In that instant I think I realized that I would never truly be able to deny Usagi-san anything he ever wanted. His closeness had been strange, awkward, and uncomfortable; yet strangely wonderful. I did not want this intimacy with a man, everything seemed slightly off, but with him…well, I had already let him into my heart. Now I had to deal with the consequences.

"But what, Misaki?"

His low voice rumbled through me once again and despite my realizations, I knew that I couldn't just submit to him. I could never truly deny him, that was true, but I couldn't stop myself from struggling to get away from his unsettling touch.

"Stop! Usagi-san!"

To my dismay and irritation, Usagi-san simply smiled as he pinned my right hand to the wall above my head. I braced my left hand across his shoulder, attempting to push him away, but I knew I couldn't succeed. Usagi-san was too tall, too big, and too strong.

I whimpered as his right hand slid up my chest, pushing the fabric of my shirt out of the way as it went. Then his mouth was by my ear and his hot breath ghosted down my neck.

"Misaki," he muttered.

My body shuddered, against my will, at the sound of his voice and the feel of his breath on my skin. His hand moved in delicate circles over the sensitive skin on my chest. I tried to push harder; tried to re-establish some distance between us. To my surprise he actually moved backwards. However, it was not the space-giving move I had hoped for. Usagi-san merely rocked back slightly, pulling me away from the wall by a couple inches, and then pushed me roughly back against the wall.

A little dazed after my head hit the wall, I dropped my left hand which was the only thing keeping any distance between us at all. Within seconds Usagi-san; his left hand still pinning my right wrist to the wall, caught my chin with his hand and tilted my face up to his.

I was briefly aware of his torso pressing against mine and one of his legs coming up to force me to spread my legs, but then his warm lips descended on mine. My breath hitched in my chest as his kiss set my lips tingling. The low sound of a growl reverberated in my ears as Usagi-san pressed his chest against mine, crushing me to the wall. My body refused to move or respond. My brain was swamped with sensation and I could do little more than pant lightly.

After what seemed like an eternity, Usagi-san relinquished his claim on my lips. Taking a step back, his eyes began searching mine. For what, I did not know.

"Misaki?" he breathed in his low velvety voice.

"Wh…what?" I asked, my voice trembling nearly as much as my body.

"Say it…?," he whispered, his lips now very close to my neck.

I could feel a deep blush rising in my cheeks. A couple of weeks ago I had told Usagi-san, after much provocation mind you, that I loved him(maybe, kind of, almost). Now, I was just beginning to realize the truth behind my previous statement. Every time I thought about him my heart beat a little faster, and every time I thought about all of the things that made him the man he was today, I knew. I was in deep.

Instead of obliging Usagi-san, I closed my eyes, turned my head to the side, and began squirming again. He always did manage to get me in the most uncomfortable positions.

Suddenly, I was no longer against the wall. Usagi-san pulled me into a bone-crushing hug. I could barely breathe, and yet, suddenly, I felt so loved and safe.

"Please…"

The desperation in his voice took me by surprise and I could almost feel my heart breaking. He ran his nose gently over the skin on my neck a few times, just holding me to him.

"Usagi-san," I started, pushing away from him slightly (this time he let me). "I…I…lo…I love…you," I murmured, my blush deepening. In that moment, we both knew the profound truth of my words, and the emotions that formed behind his eyes took my breath away.

"Oh, Misaki," he breathed.

Then he was grasping my wrist hard and dragging me toward the bedroom. This wasn't exactly how I had hoped he would respond. I was still very uncomfortable with being so physical with a man, but I knew I didn't have much of a choice.

I landed squarely in the middle of the large bed in Usagi-san's bedroom, and instinctively put my hands up, to keep him as far away from me as possible. I didn't really understand what I was feeling. I was pretty sure that I loved Usagi-san, but I still wasn't sure how I felt about being gay. The fact that I could love Usagi-san as much as I did, and by the sounds that my heart was making that was a lot, but not be comfortable having sex with him was a very confusing notion.

Usagi-san crawled toward me and promptly sat on my legs. He leaned forward and, after twisting both of my arms to the side and trapping them under one of his, he cupped the back of my head with his free hand. His lips pressed softly against mine.

His scent and the feel of his lips made my mind freeze up again. I couldn't imagine being anywhere or doing anything else. Then Usagi-san let my arms go and shifted his weight so that he could reach down and unfasten my pants.

My nerves flared briefly, but I focused on his kisses, willing myself to relax. The logical part of me knew that it was smart to relax because if I didn't, things would only be that much more painful. The other part of my brain, the one currently severely lacking in blood flow, thought that it might be nice not to fight so much for once.

I gasped loudly as Usagi-san's cold fingers slid below the waistline of my underwear and began slowly rubbing. Instinctively, I brought my hands up and grasped Usagi-san's shoulders, but for once I made no move to push him away. Instead I dug my fingertips into his warm flesh and uttered a low moan as his fingers worked over my rapidly heating skin.

Apparently he had been prepared for any number of reactions from me, except for that one. His hand stilled and he broke our kiss. Pulling back a few inches his eyes searched mine incredulously. I wondered what he was thinking, but I didn't get a chance to ask him. I thought I caught a glimpse of tears in his eyes, but I couldn't be sure because then his mouth was back on mine and his hand was moving again. This time Usagi-san's kisses were different though. Still fierce, but now they felt more desperate, passionate, almost needy.

Something shifted inside of me in that instant and I realized that this was what we had both been waiting for. I had been waiting to know that Usagi-san really did love me and wasn't just toying with me, or showing brief interest and would quickly tire of me. And Usagi-san had been waiting for, what? I was pretty sure I had an idea. He had been waiting to know that I fully accepted him just the way he was; that I would truly love him, not put on a show of loving him the way his family had.

With this realization everything seemed to click into place, and suddenly I wanted to be closer to Usagi-san, impossibly closer. I still wasn't sure that I was entirely gay (perhaps bisexual?), but I knew, without a doubt, that I was sexually attracted to Usagi-san.

Everything about him, his skin, his scent, his hands, his kisses; all threatened to drive me absolutely crazy. He squeezed my arousal firmly, before pausing to rid me of my pants and underwear.

"Aaah….ah….Usagi…san"

He grinned at me as he threw my clothes to the floor. I slipped my arms out of my shirt and pulled it off over my head before turning my attention to the buttons on his shirt. My heart was pounding rapidly in my chest and my breath was coming in quick little pants. Within moments our clothes were in little piles on the floor and Usagi-san was kissing a hot trail down my chest.

He ran his hand over my hip and I automatically thrust forward slightly, my body craving contact. His trail of kisses continued down past my navel. I gripped the sheets beneath me tightly in my fists as Usagi-san's mouth closed around me.

I choked back a sob of pleasure as the feelings coursed through me. Everything about his touch seemed different. It was still hot and sensual, but now there was something more. Something that may have been there from the beginning, but that I hadn't noticed until now. It was passion and…love.

I moaned and clenched my teeth. His attentions were too much, and I wasn't going to last much longer.

"U…usagi-san," I whimpered, "Stop. I…I can't…"

He knew exactly what I meant, and for once, he listened to me. With one last, tantalizing lick, he moved back up my body to lay sweet kisses on my neck. The thought occurred to me that I definitely should have stopped resisting ages ago if this was what love making, instead of just sex, was like with Usagi-san.

"I love you, Misaki," he whispered against my neck as he slid first one then another finger into me.

"I love you too," I breathed, closing my eyes and forcing my muscles to relax.

After a few moments, Usagi-san removed his fingers and positioned himself above me. My heart thudded heavily in my chest and my whole body trembled in anticipation. He was breathing deeply, but a little unevenly as he ran his nose lightly up and down my neck and steadied my hips with one hand. His attentions and the knowledge of what was to come were giving me goosebumps.

I gasped loudly; then I stopped breathing altogether for a moment as Usagi-san pushed into me with a strong steady thrust. It was a long several seconds as he rocked forward and my body stretched and expanded in his wake.

"Aah…AAH!"

"Sssh, Misaki. Sssh," Usagi-san whispered; his voice a little strained as he stilled for a moment. He kissed my neck, and gently brushed some of my hair off of my forehead. "I love you," he murmured.

At his words, I rocked my hips up to meet his. I gasped loudly. To my surprise and pleasure, so did Usagi-san. I knew that the sooner he established a rhythm the soon the discomfort in the lower half of my body would subside.

Usagi-san picked up on my hint quickly. He pulled back and then pushed forward again, filling me completely.

"Aah…nnn…Usagi-san," I moaned. I blushed at the sound of lust dripping in my voice.

"Oh…Misaki," he growled, starting to thrust at an excruciatingly even pace.

"Ha…ha…haaa," I gasped, panting as his long thrusts began to stir something within me. My body was responding to his every movement and the tension was growing rapidly inside me.

"More," I gasped, clinging tightly to Usagi-san's shoulders as we rocked faster and faster.

His lips found mine once again and the heat from his kiss seemed to spread through my mouth, neck, and shoulders as quickly as the heat from Usagi-san's body was spreading through my back, stomach, and legs.

"Nnnngh, Misaki," Usagi-san moaned, moving still faster. I gasped and moaned, holding him tightly. I loved the feel of us together. Everything, in those few minutes, just felt right.

"Ha…ha…U-usagi-san…I love…ha…AAAH"

My moan echoed through the room as all of the tension that had been building within me rapidly unraveled. My stomach muscles tightened and I arched my back, nearly crying as the waves of pleasure rolled over me.

Usagi-san could only manage two more glorious thrusts before he too arched his back and let out a long low moan.

"Ha…ha…ha," I panted as Usagi-san rolled to the side and then gathered me tightly in his arms.

Somehow everything was different now. The world even felt different. I wasn't sure of anything anymore. Well, I was sure that I love Usagi-san, with all my heart. Nothing else seemed to matter anymore.

Usagi-san murmured a few sweet words in my ear as he stroked my hair, but he was soon asleep. His breathing was slow, deep, and even. I smiled slightly, feeling safe and nearly glowing with emotion.

"I love you. I know that now, Usagi-san. And I'll never forget it."


End file.
